and what they should be hearing instead…
I recently made an Instagram Reel pointing out some outdated and toxic advice many of my peers and myself have heard—and it struck a chord. So many actors, especially those just starting out, internalize messages that end up doing more harm than good.
And while some advice comes from a place of love… We need to start questioning the rules we’ve been taught. Especially if we’re building careers that blend creativity, family, and business.
Here are 4 pieces of “helpful” advice I hate—and what I think young performers need to hear instead.
1. “If you love anything else, you should just do that.”
This one makes me want to scream.
It implies that unless acting is the only thing you love, you’re not cut out for it. But that mindset? It leads to burnout, tunnel vision, and tying your entire worth to whether or not you book.
Here’s the truth: Having other passions makes you a better artist.
Teaching, parenting, running a business, crochet, baking, etc…—these aren’t distractions. They’re fuel. They give you lived experience, empathy, and creative stamina.
When I became a mom, I didn’t stop being an actress—I became a better one.
And here’s a mindset shift worth holding onto: your value as a performer doesn’t decrease just because you refuse to be one-dimensional.
2. “You have to either gain weight or lose weight…”
Ah yes, the unsolicited body feedback. This one came up a lot in the comments.
Yes, the industry has a long way to go when it comes to body diversity on stage and screen. But internalizing that your size or shape is “wrong” only keeps harmful norms alive.
You are allowed to show up fully as you are.
I spent years wondering if my body made sense in casting rooms, and trying to decode how to “fit in.” But the deeper work is about feeling confident in your lived experience and trusting that the right rooms will recognize your magic.
Spoiler: If they don’t, it’s not for you.
3. “You’ll never make a living doing theatre.”
This one is a dream-killer.
Yes, it’s a competitive field—but that doesn’t mean you can’t thrive. Especially if you broaden the definition of what a theatre career can look like.
I’ve watched so many incredible artists build full, creative lives by combining theatre with:
- Teaching
- Marketing
- Coaching
- Freelancing
- Content creation
Being an artist doesn’t mean starving—it means being entrepreneurial.
And that’s a skill you can learn.
💡 Want tools to help you do just that?
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4. “This look isn’t flattering…”
Unsolicited feedback on someone’s outfit, hair, or “look” is rarely helpful—and almost always distracting.
You don’t need to change your style to be taken seriously as an artist.
A better approach (especially from mentors or coaches) is to ask:
“Does this look reflect the story you want to tell?”
Let you lead. Style is personal, and how you present yourself should feel like an extension of your identity—not someone else’s opinion.
Final Thoughts
The rules are shifting. And you don’t have to buy into outdated advice to build a fulfilling, sustainable career.
You’re allowed to:
- Challenge the script (literally and figuratively)
- Make space for the rest of your life
- Protect your peace and your joy
- Build your creative path your way
🎭✨ Ready to blend your artistry with smart marketing and real-life strategy?
Join my email list for behind-the-scenes stories, creative business tools, and encouragement for building a life where all your passions can thrive.
Jessica Tanner 
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