Happy Holidays from NYC!

Originally posted December 1, 2019

As my first holiday season in New York, it was only appropriate for me to be the Thanksgiving hostess for my immediate family. My roommate went home for the week and it was a perfect opportunity to get all 5 of us into my shoebox apartment to take on Thanksgiving like real New Yorkers. I had groceries delivered at 6:30am the day before Thanksgiving so that our pre-made and pre-portioned dishes could thaw in the fridge while we explored the city together! The weather was perfect for my Texan family, upper 40s and 50s, for walking around and sightseeing. We went to the Top of the Rock to see the most AMAZING views of the city, we took chairs, blankets and snacks to Central Park West to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, cooked and ate a wonderful meal at a table with only 2 chairs and 5 butts and we even saw Frozen 2… We did it all! Things that can be done anywhere and things that can only be done in NYC. A few lessons learned are that “ready to cook” and “precooked” are very different and a LOT of people go to the parade and 6:30 is almost getting there late when it starts at 9!

It was a very special trip! This time of year has always been open for me to go home and be with my family but now working retail in a very busy city… being with my family for the holidays is not a guarantee. I’m so grateful that I got to spend that time with them. I had the day before and the day of Thanksgiving off, but I had to work an 8-hour Black Friday shift the next day so traveling home for me would have been difficult. I’m grateful for a family that can move around their schedules to be sure they are with me for all the time they can.

This visit was especially hard though. New York City is MAGICAL at this time of year, the first snow was TODAY, but it has already been a winter holiday wonderland here, specifically Christmas. The big tree at the Rockefeller Center is up, there are women in costumes on every corner in Midtown trying to sell you tickets to one of the 3 shows a day of the Radio City Rockettes Christmas Spectacular, and the store fronts have been decorated for Christmas since November 1st…
New York has everything, except my family and that has been very hard. I knew that’s how it was going to be, but watching my family leave after Thanksgiving without knowing if I’m going to get to see them for Christmas or New Years was excruciating. It’s a thing that was always kind of hurting in the back of my mind and heart, but has made it’s way to the forefront as Christmas gets closer.

I will reiterate for the bazillionth time how much I love living in New York, I love the energy of the city and the sights and the dreamers who live here with me. It just feels like a community of people who all work hard and have big dreams… but I hate that my family is so far away! It’s been the most difficult thing, planning trips that feel too close together to make up for a trip that’s too far away is hard. My family refreshes me even when they drive me bananas. It’s the one thing I miss all the time and enjoy every minute wherever we are when we are all together.

I can only control what I can control! I am thankful for my family and the time I have had with them and will look forward to the next time no matter when it is! But for now, I will continue to pursue my dreams and not give up!

I’ve really been meeting some awesome people and having great conversations about how to live here and pursue a career in the arts. Something I’m struggling with is when to say, “No.” It’s very easy to jump at every opportunity to perform, no matter how much it exploits the participants because at least it’s something! You have to start somewhere, right? But as much as the city is full of the most legitimate opportunities in the performing arts out of anywhere else in the country… there are also a few duds. Venues that prey on new performers and ask them to invite their friends and make them pay for cover, food and drinks to give you a chance to be on stage. There are hundreds of little opportunities like this in the city and honestly, some are great opportunities for new performers to get their feet wet. But when it feels too sketchy… you can’t be afraid to say, “I think I’m going to have to pass on this opportunity, but thank you.” If it feels like you’re being used for your newness and eagerness to perform to exploit your friends’ money to watch you perform and potentially see you perform more if they pay MORE money… you probably are and it’s okay to say no.

I say all this as a message to other new performers in any big city but also to myself. I don’t have to be desperate to hustle. There’s a difference between missing an opportunity and protecting yourself from something designed for the opposite of what makes art great.
Obviously, I also say all this because I was struck with an offer to do something like this that sounded too good to be true. I got details and information less than a week before my performance date and I had to do all the promotional work for the show myself… It’s easy to get sucked in but I’m very grateful for the people in this city that I’m meeting that are reassuring me that it’s not going to be my only chance so I don’t need to be desperate for chances that don’t feel quite right. Not every “artist” is out for your best interests.

That being said, I’m doing a reading for IWU Alumna, Megan Sperger, in the next couple of weeks. Chances to do passion projects with friends and colleagues is so special and I’m grateful for the IWU Network. They will grow my spiritually as an artist way more than any venue that has expectations of me making a crummy bar a ton of money to sing a song or two.

SO, I’ve started a YouTube channel! I’m working on creating the right material. I’m working on a quick vlog about my families NYC Thanksgiving, but tonight I also will be posting a Vocal Performance Reel that I’ve put together and I would love for some feedback about likes and dislikes! I’d also love to know what kind of content people would want to see… I still will probably share stuff I want to share even if it’s not something people want but some times I don’t think of everything. I just got off the phone with a friend who told me that I should post a video on my channel of something that I hadn’t thought to yet and I think I just might! Click here to see my newest video and subscribe to my channel to see more!

XOXO,

Texas Jess