Claim Your Dreams!

Originally posted August 14, 2019

So I did it! It’s been over a week and I’m already learning so much about myself and what I want here in New York City. I wanted to share something that’s been a reoccurring idea the past few days. I moved to NYC to fulfill my dreams, but what does that mean? I spent a lot of time in my life acting like New York was a silly dream or it wasn’t a thing I wanted to do at all because it was something that’s “too big” for little me. It was one of the many things I hid and pretended wasn’t in my heart out of fear that people would tell me that I couldn’t do it. Mostly because I didn’t think I could do it. It feels like making the move is the first huge step towards a lifetime of disappointment. So I never spoke it out. But the day that I said, out LOUD, that I wanted to live in NYC and try to pursue theatre, I was FREE. I didn’t know that it was a burden on my heart. And I am here. I started verbally saying that I wanted to go to New York City to pursue theatre less than 6 months ago. And I now have a New York address. I’ve been thinking about this a lot because there are so many other things I’m still being vague and dismissive about when it comes to my dreams. For instance, when I say I moved to go follow my dreams… What are my dreams? Yes, to do theatre. Yes, I want to perform. But what is that? Why am I really here? I can only have it if I speak it out. And I’ve still been afraid to speak my dreams out because I still feel small and not ready. But I’m going to start speaking it out!

I was having a conversation with an IWU alumnus about searching for an agent (because that’s a possible next step for me) and they asked me to think about what 5 roles currently on Broadway I would kill and what 2 of my wild-card dream roles are because an agent will probably ask me about that. And as simple as that is. I was taken aback. I know that every six months someone creates a “copy and paste” this Facebook post to your wall and share your dream roles and tag 3 friends… blah, blah, blah… But this was different. It’s not about what my friends think I should play on Broadway or just using the characters my teachers/mentors have said I’m perfect for. It’s about how I see myself and how I get to tell an agent who I am as a “business.” Honestly, when people ask if I want to be on Broadway… I act pretty coy about it and say something stupid like, “Well, of course Broadway is ideal but, any sort of performing in New York is what I’m hoping for!” I’m not saying that there isn’t truth to that sentiment but why can’t I indulge in saying, “Yes! I would love to play a powerful female role on Broadway someday!” Why do I have to soften myself for people who are going to say that they think it’s cool that I’m doing theatre and they would never do something this hard no matter WHAT I say my exact dream is.

So, I’ve been rattling my brain about this stupid 5 Broadway roles thing and not to make excuses, but I’m going to cut myself some slack here. It’s really hard to go from Dream-Hoarder to Sharer and Bearer of all Dreams so, I’m going to take it slow and start with 3… Also, EVERYTHING is closing on Broadway right now so my options are slimming down by the second (this is totally an excuse and I should be punished for it) but seriously… baby steps.

Here’s my unabashed shout to the world! I have dreams that aren’t just “I hope I can…” They are anchored in “I know I can!”

So without further ado… 3 roles currently on Broadway that I would KILL…

1) Jenna in Waitress… I said unabashed, so here goes unabashed.. I’m not quite old enough for this role but, quite frankly… I would kill as any of the women in this show. And since it’s closing in January, it had to make my list.

2) Elsa in Frozen… That’s right, LET IT GO! SPEAK IT OUT, JESS!

3) Elphaba in Wicked… Okay, this one is hard to say but I SAID IT! It feels cheesy to admit but… *insert shoulder shrug emoji*

Now that the awkward part is over… THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME and hopefully you don’t all think I’m too terribly pompous and that because of this blog I’m going to be Broadway’s next Leading Lady. I’m just speaking out my dreams and looking for the freedom to actually pursue them. I hope whoever reads this also finds places in their life to be unabashed and claim their dreams. And I hope you can find freedom in this too. Please let me know if you do this yourselves and how this helps you in your pursuit!!

Please feel free to comment or message me if you’ve found that being honest and clear about your dreams has helped you take steps towards making them happen.

XOXO,

Texas Jess